as an alternative to killing brain cells

Last weekend I went home with my sister Entertaining Imitator, but she wanted to stop on the way to get her hair colored. And, astonishingly, I didn't want to sit for hours in a hairspray-and-nail-polish-infused salon. So I went clothes-shopping at the D.I. You have to try on a lot (and sometimes a LOT) of clothes at the D.I. to find something good. But when you find something, or somethings, it's SO worth the time. Plus, you feel like you found buried treasure! It's a great feeling.

Anyway, I found an awesome outfit there - a cute plaid skirt and a nice gray jacket - for $8! I win. When I returned to my apartment, I showed my roommate Inadvertent Siren my stylish clothing, and she said, “Man, you need to start coming to church so that you can wear all of your hott new clothes!” Um, not that I just skip church ... I have been gone for almost every Sunday in the past month with family stuff. Really.

But after Inadvertent Siren's comment, I could just imagine my somewhat monologue-esque remarks to fellow ward-ites next time I go to my ward: “Yeah, I’m not so much here for the spiritual part of all this. But check out the Hottness of the Clothing! And (to those of the male variety) take this rare but golden opportunity, during which the hottness of a girl's clothing makes her feel content and sure that all is right with the world, to woo me. Quick, man! (Sneaky aside:) So then I won’t have to worry about finding a job.” Riiiight.

the beginning

The blogging has begun! Be excited. I will write things about the odd occurrences in my life. And about the funny things I observe. And I will post them on the grand ol' Internet! You, my friend, are welcome to read them if you feel so inclined. But before you get too caught up in the excitement that you are, I’m sure, already feeling, there is something you should know.

I write much the way I speak, though sometimes a little more formally. Anyway, in real life I attach “-ness” and “-esque” to the end of lots of words. Including ones that do not normally, and probably should not, have those suffixes attached to them. So consider yourself forewarned: by reading this blog, you agree to waive any responsibility I may have for your acquisition of the inability of speak normally. As in, using normal words. I just cannot be held liable when you speak with words (and suffixes) of coolness and your boss fires you because you do not speak professionally enough. (Wow, how am I supposed to find a job, then? Hmm, this could definitely be a problem…)

However, if use of such suffixes (including any suffixes that are not mentioned in this post but later make rather frequent appearances in my blog) helps you gain friends and influence people in good ways, I take complete responsibility. Either way, I win! Or, at least, don’t lose. That totally counts for something.

So, welcome to my blog. We'll have great adventures together, you and I.

(I was talking to my keyboard.)