as an alternative to killing brain cells

Last weekend I went home with my sister Entertaining Imitator, but she wanted to stop on the way to get her hair colored. And, astonishingly, I didn't want to sit for hours in a hairspray-and-nail-polish-infused salon. So I went clothes-shopping at the D.I. You have to try on a lot (and sometimes a LOT) of clothes at the D.I. to find something good. But when you find something, or somethings, it's SO worth the time. Plus, you feel like you found buried treasure! It's a great feeling.

Anyway, I found an awesome outfit there - a cute plaid skirt and a nice gray jacket - for $8! I win. When I returned to my apartment, I showed my roommate Inadvertent Siren my stylish clothing, and she said, “Man, you need to start coming to church so that you can wear all of your hott new clothes!” Um, not that I just skip church ... I have been gone for almost every Sunday in the past month with family stuff. Really.

But after Inadvertent Siren's comment, I could just imagine my somewhat monologue-esque remarks to fellow ward-ites next time I go to my ward: “Yeah, I’m not so much here for the spiritual part of all this. But check out the Hottness of the Clothing! And (to those of the male variety) take this rare but golden opportunity, during which the hottness of a girl's clothing makes her feel content and sure that all is right with the world, to woo me. Quick, man! (Sneaky aside:) So then I won’t have to worry about finding a job.” Riiiight.